Monday, June 30, 2008
Autism: New Information
Harris begins with two disturbing cases of children who, shortly after receiving vaccines, showed rapid decline in motor skills, appetite and strength. One child was ultimately diagnosed with Autism, the other child died.
Apparently, both of these children had mitochondrial disorders, which are genetic diseases and, according to Harris, "have received almost no attention from federal health officials." Not much is known about mitochondrial disorders--or Autism, for that matter--and at this point no one is willing to draw a definitive link between the two. As Harris points out, multiple studies have been done to try to show some causal relationship between vaccines and Autism, all of which failed to do so. Many parents of Autistic children, however, believe unequivocally that vaccinations caused their children's illnesses. Perhaps further research on mitochondrial disorders will prove to be the missing link.
At present, there is no definitive test for mitochondrial disorders, which might help identify children at risk for having a devastating reaction to a vaccine. Federal health officials aren't even willing to determine yet that the mitochondrial disorders had anything to do with the terrible consequences for the two children in the article. So while little is known, it is important enough for parents to stay on top of.
For more information on mitochondrial diseases, visit the United Mitochondrial Disease Foundation. For information on Autism, visit Autism Speaks or the Autism Society of America.
Independence Eating
Or maybe you're up here in the Northeast and crave the Vineyard-style celebration. You could try the traditional classic New England Lobster Dinner. Take it up a notch with your homemade Crab Cakes with Brown-Butter Tomato Vinaigrette and pair the whole thing with an unexpected, deliciously crisp Albarino, and your guests will simply swoon.
But maybe you just want burgers with a twist, like these Barbecue Buffalo Burgers with Mango Ketchup. Mix up some Sangria for the occasion and your guests will be toasting your innovation.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Fatherhood in the 21st Century
Hartwell-Walker decides to leave it to "the sociologists to explain the many and complicated variables...that are at the root of...the pejorative TV scripts," and chooses, instead, to focus on what kids actually need from their fathers, and how fathers can give these things to their children, whatever the state of the family. She touches on some big paternal issues like "embracing the responsibility" of fatherhood and the importance of present and consistent fathering. These seemingly elemental points are applicable both to the "father-absent" homes, as well as the homes in which the father resides. Often, a father lives at home, but is physically or emotionally absent much of the time due to work and other of life's stresses. This kind of absence can create a host of problems all its own.
She also suggests striking a balance between discipline and fun, another important piece of advice. Often, I think, dads get caught in the "Wait until your father gets home!" cycle, which does neither dad nor kid any favors.
But perhaps my favorite point Hartwell-Walker makes is for fathers to "be a role model of adult manhood." This is equally important for girls as it is for boys, as Hartwell-Walker points out. She tells dads, "Make no mistake: The kids are observing you every minute. They are taking in how you treat others, how you manage stress and frustrations, how you fulfill your obligations and whether or not you carry yourself with dignity." Indeed, she notes, that boys will grow up like their fathers, and girls will choose men as partners who strongly resemble their fathers, emotionally speaking.
Much is made, perhaps especially in the blogosphere, of Motherhood and the role of Mom, here at Mama's Cup as much as anywhere else. And of course--do I even need to write this?--nothing replaces a mother's nurturing and love. But when you examine Hartwell-Walker's conclusion--that it doesn't matter what a father does for a living or how much money he makes or what his hobbies are, what matters is a father's long-term commitment and involvement--it becomes clear that nothing replaces a father's guidance and love either.
Fatherhood links:
National Fatherhood Initiative
Inside Fatherhood
TIME Article: Fatherhood 2.0
US Department of Health and Human Services
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Party Animals

Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Taking Back Childhood

It requires a concerted effort to allow children mental space for open, imaginative play, now more than ever. It takes focus just to find toys that aren't pre-scripted and ready to drive off and play with themselves. Carlsson-Paige advocates clay and paint and blocks over the recognizable Disney characters, who by their very nature, come with a pre-determined storyline.
I'm sure to many parents, my obsession with this issue makes me sound like a bit of a crackpot. And perhaps by today's standards, I am. But when I read things like Susan Gregory Thomas' "Buy, Buy Baby: How Consumer Culture Manipulates Parents and Harms Young Minds" I am both emboldened and terrified. Thomas writes:
"Perhaps because of the belief that a video can raise their babies' IQ, or can at least be 'educational,' more than a quarter of American children under the age of two have a television in their room, in spite of an appeal by the American Academy of Pediatrics that children under two not watch television at all. On a typical day, 61 percent of children six months to twenty-three months watch television; by age three, 88 percent do. The median time that children from zero to three spend watching some form of media on the screen is slightly under two hours--about as much time as they spend playing outside and about three times as much time as they spend being read to."
When did we, as parents, decide to outsource the raising of our children--the shaping of their minds, values and sense of self--to Hollywood? Allowing corporate media and marketing giants that kind of unfettered access to our children's developing minds will, without a doubt, have consequences that run much deeper than I think we can imagine.
The longer we can let our children be children, the longer we can keep them out of the marketers' reach, the more space we can give their minds--and souls--to grow and experiment and flourish, the better off they will be. For small children, every experience is a "learning" experience. A six-month-old doesn't need an educational toy; every experience a six-month-old has is educational.
I believe we need to let ourselves--and our children--off the hook. We need to let our kids be kids, without organizing the fun out of their days. This, I truly believe, is the best way for children to grow intellectually and emotionally.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Miau, Miau

And they sell these super cute t-shirts!
Beyond Fish Sticks
Well, I'm not sure this will help with the applesauce that's currently fossilizing on your kitchen floor, but it might give you some fresh, new ideas.
It's a website called Smart Foods Healthy Kids (via teensygreen). SFHK offers everything from recipes (like this one for "Pizza in a Bowl") to allergies to "breastfeeding 101." They employ multiple resources, including their resident online pediatrician, Dr. Natalie. SFHK even offers quick tips and articles on how to make your home little bit healthier. And it is all done with a good dose of humor, so it doesn't intimidate.
Monday, June 23, 2008
I Heart Paris
As rare as it is lovely, this book is quite a treasure. If you manage to find one, I'd recommend keeping the sippy cups and sticky fingers at arm's length.
The Ultimate Sacrifice
Friday, June 20, 2008
The Power of Parenthood
Thursday, June 19, 2008
The 21st Century Lemonade Stand
So, need an afternoon activity? Make some lemonade, set up your stand and donate!
Americans Off the Roads
The article also says that Americans are buying smaller cars, which makes sense. But what to do when you can't drive a smaller car, like this family of seven in Ohio.
Now, I think we all agree that the halcyon days of $1.50/gallon gasoline are over. And at least we haven't descended into chaos over our new fuel cost reality. But really, I wonder how we will cope with our fuel and driving addiction in this country, vis-a-vis ever mounting gasoline costs.
Many Americans are at a disadvantage. Our family is fortunate enough to live a walkable distance to town, with sidewalks all the way. Most Americans, however, do not. Many Americans also have larger families, which makes using transportation other than their own vehicles, impractical at best. Walkable Urbanism is the new buzz word on this topic, and refers to people moving from the suburbs and rural outposts back into the cities, where public transportation is readily available and most necessities are a walkable distance from home. It has also been used to describe the redesign of existing suburban towns to promote walking.
Being an ex-New Yorker, I'm all for walking more. But Walkable Urbanism is an expensive solution. Who pays for all of suburban America to be redesigned? And moving back to the cities? Who pays for that? As Derek Hunter says in the NPR story, moving a family of seven from Lima, OH to New York City hardly seems like an affordable solution to their family's current fuel cost crisis.
So, what's the solution? How is your family coping with the rising cost of fuel? And what are your plans for the long term?
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Get Chico, Chicas

It's a full-size shopping bag that folds up and attaches to your key chain! So you're never without a reusable bag. What a great idea! And at $5.00, you can't beat it!
Holistic Healing
You bet many parents were alarmed.
Parker-Pope goes through a list of alternative therapies that parents have tried and doctors have investigated, with varying degrees of success. And while she acknowledges that alternative therapies are harder to study, because they are so often used in concert with one another, she points to this 2007 study in the U.K.'s The Lancet as tangible evidence of a successful alternative treatment.
Apparently, diet plays a significant role in either increasing or decreasing hyperactivity symptoms. The study "examined the effect of artificial coloring and preservatives on hyperactive behavior in children. After consuming an additive-free diet for six weeks, the children were given either a placebo beverage or one containing a mix of additives in two-week intervals. In the additive group, hyperactive behaviors increased."
I find this really interesting, and in line with the idea that eating more organic and less processed foods is truly beneficial to our health. We do not have much regard in our culture for alternative treatments or holistic healing, but perhaps some of that is changing, thanks to studies like these. I would never argue against medication or its benefits. But I do believe that it can be used more sparingly than it currently is and that it can be used in conjunction with other healing methods.
If this is something that interests you, you can check out The Integrative Pediatrics Council where you can find a list of doctors who support alternative treatments. Parker-Pope spoke to the Council's Chairman, Dr. Lawrence D. Rosen, chief of pediatric integrative medicine at Hackensack University Medical Center in New Jersey who said "'I do prescribe medications in my practice, and there are kids whose lives have been saved by that...But it’s a holistic approach that is very different than one pill, one symptom. We’re addressing not just the physical, chemical needs of kids, but their total emotional and mental health.'"
It is this truly holistic approach that interests me, rather than only using drugs to treat symptoms. I think too many of us are on too many drugs. We're on so many drugs that our drinking water is contaminated with the presence of literally dozens of pharmaceuticals. If we start caring for our minds and bodies, if we start being mindful of how we live and what we ingest, we might find that we have fewer symptoms to treat in the long run.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Gas Saving Tips
The article's author, Sean Tucker (a Papa himself, who even cops to stale Cheerios wedged under the car seat) did his homework on this one. He covers tire pressure, roof racks, and tells the speed demons to slow down. And he backs it all up with EPA stats and a little more math than I'm willing to do on my own.
It all boils down to the small stuff. Little changes can help us all save big. You don't have to refit your entire house with solar panels and start roller skating to work to slow the bleeding. As I've said before, Mamas, it's all about baby steps.
Go Postal

But how to stop the madness?!
Check out Catalogue Choice. It's a free service, sponsored by the Ecology Center. Their aim is to stop all of the unwanted catalogue mail and to "promote sustainable industry best practices." You just set up a profile on their website (remember, it's all free) and browse or search the catalogue lists for those you are currently receiving that you would like to opt out of. By building a quick profile, you can always change your mind. This is all very good news for us who would like our desks to be a little bit cleaner and our lives to be a little bit greener.
I'm going to sign up right now.
You Say It's Your Birthday
Monday, June 16, 2008
Mama How-To
Bambu for Your Barbecue

And since you're dressing up your backyard dining, how about spicing up your menu with some seared ahi tuna?
Friday, June 13, 2008
Happy Father's Day
For the time you gave me the Talking Heads "Little Creatures" album on vinyl for my 10th birthday, thank you. You were helping me develop a lifelong love affair with music of all kinds, and making sure I was way ahead of the curve.
For all of the Singer, the Wodehouse, the Hemingway, the Vonnegut, thank you. You were stoking the flames of what has become a true passion for the written word.
Thank you for the time you made your editor help me with that video for my history project. And thank you for driving me that morning, just before dawn, down to central Ohio, for my first college visit. It is still one of my favorite quiet memories.
Thank you for all of the trips to Vollmar's Park. Thank you for taking my direction, at age 4, when we were playing "The Rescuers" for the 200th time. And thank you for all of the improv singing in the car. I still can't hear "The 12 Days of Christmas" without smiling.
For the gift of faith, thank you. For your patience, your humor, your advice, thank you.
For helping me become who I am, and always loving me, no matter what, thank you.
I love you, Dad. Happy Father's Day.
Fair is Foul, And Foul is Fair

Yes, Mamas, it's Friday the 13th. This is actually the only one of all 2008. I've never been plagued with much fear of this date, beyond the anxiety the films provoked at slumber parties. There is actually quite a bit of history of superstitious belief surrounding Fridays and the number 13, but dread of Friday the 13th in particular seems to be a 20th Century phenomenon.
So, unless you're paraskavedekatriaphobic, I say get out there and play the lottery today. Like they say, you never know.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Positive Reinforcement
We opened up with each other about how, many nights when we get into bed, we go over in our minds all of the things that we could have done better or differently during the day with our kids. And each night, we vow to be more patient, more loving--just more--the next day with our kids.
I was grateful for her honesty, grateful to know that this Mama who I respect and admire also has doubts about herself as a mother.
I thought a lot about our conversation, and realized that this must be a common symptom of motherhood. I do not think that striving to do better is a bad thing. On the contrary, this is what drives us to be better people. I do, however, think that we--as women, as mothers--do ourselves and our families a disservice to simply focus on ways that we feel we failed.
While I cannot promise that I will stop going over my daily "mistakes," I hereby vow to remind myself of my daily successes. I will remind myself, each night, of at least one thing I did right. Whether it is laughing with my little one, holding her in the night when she can't sleep, telling her that I am proud of her, reading her an extra book, I will acknowledge this to myself as a success.
By acknowledging what I do right, I care for myself, something that Mamas in particular do not always have at the top of their mile-long "to do" lists. By caring for myself in this way, I will, I believe, ultimately be a better mother, a better wife, a better friend.
Sick Day
Whenever she has a cold, I get out the cool mist humidifier and add some essential oils to the water. I use about 10 drops of lavender oil to aid in relaxation, about 10 drops of tea tree oil and 5-7 drops of peppermint oil, both of which help to relieve congestion. The result is a gently scented mist, diffused into the air of her nursery. It isn't nearly as intense as some of the other medicated vapouriser additives, so it is gentle enough for the littlest noses.
Obviously, I'm not a doctor and you should always check with your pediatrician when your kids are not well.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Every Monday Matters

I have blogged previously about meaningful, charitable activities families can do together, and this book sounds like a wonderful resource for families interested in doing good. There's even a list of 52 activities on the website, many of which are family friendly.
Think it's a good idea? Spread the word.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Skirting the Issue

...Make Lemonade

Gifts for Dad
What about a gift in his name to his favorite charity? After all, giving isn't just for Mamas.
Don't know what charity to choose?
Is he an avid angler? Then he might appreciate helping Oxfam America protect fishing rights and waters.
Maybe he's a handy kind of Dad, who can build almost anything. In that case he'd be thrilled with a donation in his name to Habitat for Humanity, where your cash can provide shingles for a roof, a new window and even a kitchen sink for a family in need.
Dad's a bookworm? A donation to First Book, a literacy and book donation program, would be perfect.
Have a hipster Dad in your life? One is a rock-n-roll style charity, complete with Bono as spokesman, that works to fight AIDS, poverty and hunger.
Need more inspiration? Check out Idealist and search thousands of organizations to find the perfect fit. And 20 or 30 bucks will go a lot further in most of these programs than it will at the department store.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Diaper Dude

They offer many guy-friendly fabrics and patterns (camouflage DudePack anyone?) so that your guy will feel like Super Dad, instead of feeling like he's carrying a purse. Shop their online store directly or type in your zip code to find a retailer near you.
To Hybrid, or Not To Hybrid?

But does it really make good financial sense?
This new article in U.S. News & World Report does the math for the rest of us. You might be surprised at how little money you actually save with some of the models. And because the hybrids generally cost more than their gas-only counterparts, you won't believe how long it will take you to make back by saving at the pump the extra cash you shell out up front for these hybrids. The Chevy Tahoe hybrid, selling for almost $15,000 more than its gas-guzzling twin, will take 16.9 years to pay for itself in gas savings! (Also of note, the Chevy Tahoe hybrid will only get you 21 mpg, which is what I am currently getting on my gas-only family car. So "hybrid" is not always synonymous with "most efficient.") Even the Toyota Highlander hybrid, selling at about $6000 more than its gas-only counterpart, will still take more than 10 years to pay off that debt in gasoline savings. The Honda Civic hybrid will take more than 12 years to pay the difference in price with the money you save at the pump!
Now, saving money on gas is not the only reason people are buying hybrids these days. And Mamas I'd never say that polluting less is a bad idea. But for many who are eyeing these cars as a way to fatten the bottom line, the math just doesn't seem to make sense.
Looks like walking, running, biking, car-pooling, mass transit riding and scootering are still our best bets to save money and live a little bit greener.
Friday, June 6, 2008
Irony

On that note, Mamas, Happy Friday! Have a wonderful weekend!
Reality Check
I'll be the first to admit that I have altered my habits when it comes to feeding my family. In fact, one of these women's stories is a mirror of my own recent experiences. These are uncertain times, and economic uncertainty is a new experience for many Americans.
I've blogged here before about money saving ideas for families, with ideas on how to have fun while still being frugal. And these ideas still apply.
But the reality for many right now is scary, and in the midst of it, it can be difficult to see when, how and if it will all end. One of the things that I take away from a report like this--and from my own anecdotal evidence--is perhaps more uplifting. Listening to these women, I hear strength and resourcefulness. The first woman, in particular, exhibits a gritty determination to navigate her family through the crisis, whatever it takes. This flexibility, as described in another NPR report by Brighton Earley, is how we will make it through the current economic crisis, and so many other crises that we face in our lives. It is, perhaps, one of our saving graces. We adjust, we make due, we survive. And we come out the other side stronger for it.
That's it for now, as we're off to the supermarket.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Play Time

I believe wholeheartedly in this argument. I am notoriously anti-beeping, blinking, whirring, buzzing, singing, talking, toy. These toys seem to play with themselves! Toy buses "recommended" by "respected" parent groups groan and sputter, open their own doors and drive away, all with the touch of literally one button. What on earth is a child supposed to do with that other than watch? I am convinced that these toys are not only annoying, but that they can do damage to a child's cognitive abilities by depriving children of their natural instinct to play in a focused and creative way.
The more we deprive our children of true imaginative play, the more they will struggle with many things. The widely admired educational psychologist Bruno Bettelheim, explored these ideas at length, in The Importance of Play. He stresses the cognitive, social and emotional learning children accomplish through seemingly simple, imaginative play. None of this can be accomplished with a noisy pile of plastic, whirring junk in the way.
So I say, get the junk out of the way and let the kids play.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Anniversary

Between 50 and 200 people remain imprisoned to this day for their involvement in the Tiananmen uprising. Tibet is still a closed, stifled and violently oppressed place. And Chinese journalists are still officially forbidden from even mentioning the Tiananmen uprising at all, under threat of severe penalty. Indeed, when people within China try to access information online on Tiananmen Square, they will only find government propaganda sites or tourist information. And despite recent overtures, Beijing is still actively supporting genocide in Darfur through policy and continued arms dealing to Sudan.
All this is all really just the tip of the iceberg.
Why does it matter? Because China will be a bigger and far more influential force in our children's lives than it ever was in ours.
Aromababy

Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Flora Douville

Monday, June 2, 2008
This I Believe
Sunshine Mama
Sunshine Circles
Place a whole, round slice of pineapple in the middle of the plate, with some yogurt (we're big fans of FAGE all natural Greek yogurt) in the middle of the pineapple slice. Place some Mandarin orange slices around the pineapple to look like rays and your Sunshine Circle Snack is complete! This will put a smile on any little face.
Thanks for sharing, Lindsey!
Thanks, Dad

Find this at the Original Hammock Shop. There's no way he won't love it.

This Leatherman tool is a dream for those of you with a handyman at home.
This monogrammed grill tool kit is perfect for the Gourmet Dad. Find it at Williams Sonoma.