Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Words of Encouragement

I blog pretty often about my own insecurities as a mom, the heavy load of guilt I carry that I'm screwing up my kid, and my efforts to overcome this destructive cycle of self-recrimination.

Recently, some profound--and profoundly simple--words of encouragement popped up in my inbox, emailed by another Mama, of course. It was the text of an article by Elaine Heffner, CSW, Ed.D., entitled "The Good Enough Mother." It's wise and witty and just about every Mama I know will relate to it. We can't be perfect mothers, Heffner insists, so we need to stop trying and give ourselves a break. We need to be, she says, "good enough" mothers. And a "good enough" mother, in Heffner's estimation:

  • loves her child but not all of his behavior.
  • isn't always available to her child whenever he wants her.
  • can't possibly prevent all her child's frustrations and moods.
  • has needs of her own which may conflict with those of her child.
  • loses it sometimes.
  • is human and makes mistakes.
  • learns from her mistakes.
  • uses her own best judgment.

It feels nice to be reminded that you're doing a good job, doesn't it? And we are, Mamas. We are.

1 comment:

Kay the Encourager said...

I love the ministry of encouragement and agree with you on this one! Listen moms, what you offer your kids in this season of life makes a difference. Your 'two dozen biscuits' offered to your world makes a difference. If you let Him, God will take those ordinary moments and make them extraordinary.
How to encourage

You Can Do It MOMS!