Motherhood requires troubleshooting skills, on-the-job learning and some serious improv abilities. Every day offers new adventures and we Mamas must remain adaptable, if nothing else. There's no handbook for some of the stuff our Little Ones throw at us. I've compiled a little list of phrases I'd never have guessed would ever pass my lips, until I became a Mama:
Please get your face off the toilet seat.
Don't lick that.
No, you can't put your tutu on the dog.
Would you like it if someone stuck their finger up your nose?
If you don't go back to sleep, we'll never have fun again. Ever.
Get your hand out of your pants.
Get your hand out of my pants. (Full disclosure: I'm sure I said this at least a half a dozen times in college.)
And, finally,the mother of all Mama phrases. The one I swore I'd never utter:
Because I said so.