Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Things I Never Thought I'd Hear Myself Say

Motherhood requires troubleshooting skills, on-the-job learning and some serious improv abilities. Every day offers new adventures and we Mamas must remain adaptable, if nothing else. There's no handbook for some of the stuff our Little Ones throw at us. I've compiled a little list of phrases I'd never have guessed would ever pass my lips, until I became a Mama:

Please get your face off the toilet seat.

Don't lick that.

No, you can't put your tutu on the dog.

Would you like it if someone stuck their finger up your nose?

If you don't go back to sleep, we'll never have fun again. Ever.

Get your hand out of your pants.

Get your hand out of my pants. (Full disclosure: I'm sure I said this at least a half a dozen times in college.)


And, finally,the mother of all Mama phrases. The one I swore I'd never utter:

Because I said so.

5 comments:

Stace. said...

Hahahahaha, i needed that, thanks. Glad i'm not the only one that has said those types of things to a child. Phew. xxx

Cara said...

I've been uttering a few of these phrases lately too! Especially about licking....what is it with my 2 year old wanting to lick everything and everyone?!

Ruth said...

Hahaha! Thanks for my morning laugh!
It's reassuring to know that mine aren't the only kids who lack a healthy fear of bathroom germs. I don't know how many times I've told them to quit crawling around the floor of a public restroom.

Karyn said...

My personal "Did that just come out of my mouth?" favorites:

Please get those peanuts out of your toes.

There's an octopus in the car? What's his name? Ask him, "What's your name, octopus?"

Don't. Touch. Anything.

And a recent favorite, admonishing my husband for eating my son's pretzel sticks because, "Those are only peepee-on-the-potty pretzel sticks!"

Erin Merryn said...

First time visitor to your blog and find myself laughing when reading this. Can't wait to be a mom someday.